Dante: Mom, what planet are we all on?
Me: Earth. What planet are you on?
This was the first sign that I might have an alien for a son. At least that is his story and he is sticking to it. If I hadn’t been present at the birth, I might lean toward believing it myself.
My son can come up with some crazy stories, but believing he is from Jupiter has been one that has stuck and grown since he first mentioned it a year ago. He apparently has a whole other family on Jupiter, complete with an alien mom, an alien dad, a few alien brothers, and an alien sister. His alien parents have green eyes and catch on fire when they get angry. He has a brother named, Lotion, because he likes lotion, a brother named Climber, because he climbs trees, and a sister named Faster, because she runs really fast. My son’s alien name is Runner, because he runs a lot. Your average family…well, I do question that kid named Lotion, but over all, it’s what I would expect from an alien family.
My son doesn’t always talk about his other family, but occasionally brings them up at times. This summer night, while we were sitting by the fire pit, he saw a blinking light of an airplane in the sky. He shouted “there’s my alien family! Them coming to see me!” I asked him if he was leaving our family to go home. He assured me he would only be gone for a quick minute and then would be back. Whew!
Over time, we’ve learned more about his planet and his family. Apparently, his visit to Earth was accidental, due to him jumping up and down and falling off Jupiter. His alien family didn’t know he was missing and were worried. I guess he worked that out with them because now they are ok with his staying on planet Earth. There is also no potty on Jupiter, which explains a whole lot about our current potty training situation. (check out OMG post) If you have a accident on Jupiter, you just push a button on your chest and you get new underwear. Genius! Someone at Apple should be working on an app for that.
I guess we are kind of at fault for this story getting bigger then it should. We often include the alien family in our prayers, use the alien family for advice on discipline, and have given birthday presents to my son from his alien parents. I am sure I will be paying for it later, literally, when he is in therapy for a split personality disorder, but right now it is kind of cute when he says he miss his alien family.
But for right now, what is the harm of having another place where you have a family that loves you and everything there is perfect. I wish I had a place like that. On my planet, Dunkins would flow free from fountains in the street, you could press a button and be instantly showered and sleeping in would be considered the norm.
Excuse me now, I have go jump up and down and try to fall off the Earth….