Little Man and I were in the car on the way to our usual Wednesday play date with DJ and Sue when it happened. I really didn’t see it coming. We were talking about birthday parties that he is invited to. Both parties are on Sunday, the first for a little girl in his kindergarten class and the second is for twin boys that he went to preschool with.
LM: Why are C & H twins?
Me: Well, they were born at the same time from the same mommy.
Me: Yes, they were.
LM: Did they get cut out of her belly together?
(I had c-sections with both of my children. They think that all babies are cut out of their mom’s bellies. Or, they used to.)
Me: Yes, they came out of her belly at the same time.
LM: But were they CUT out of her belly at the same time?
Me: I really don’t know, honey. Not all babies are cut out of their mommies bellies. (Oh, crap! What did I just do to myself? How did I do this? Can I take it back?)
Me: Well some babies get pushed out of their mom’s bellies.
(Maybe this will be good enough for him. Pleeease!)
LM: Pushed out HOW? Where?
Me: Honey, most babies get pushed out of their mommies bellies through their vaginas.
(Deep breath, look back in the rearview mirror, Little Man’s face is contorted in a way I have NEVER seen before.)
LM: Ugh. That. Is. Awful. I am SO glad I got cut out of your belly. I’d be pretty gross if I came out the other way.
Me: Honey, you were pretty gross the way you came out.
(After some thought) LM: How did I get in your belly in the first place?
(WTF, kid?) Me: Honey, that’s much longer, much grosser story. We’re almost to DJ’s house now. I don’t have enough time to answer that one the right way.
When will I learn?