There is No Such Thing as a Simple Car Ride

Little Man and I were in the car on the way to our usual Wednesday play date with DJ and Sue when it happened.  I really didn’t see it coming.  We were talking about birthday parties that he is invited to.  Both parties are on Sunday, the first for a little girl in his kindergarten class and the second is for twin boys that he went to preschool with.

LM:  Why are C & H twins?

Me:  Well, they were born at the same time from the same mommy.

LM:  They were in her belly together?belly

Me:  Yes, they were.

LM:  Did they get cut out of her belly together?

(I had c-sections with both of my children. They think that all babies are cut out of their mom’s bellies. Or, they used to.)

Me:  Yes, they came out of her belly at the same time.

LM:  But were they CUT out of her belly at the same time?

Me:  I really don’t know, honey.  Not all babies are cut out of their mommies bellies. (Oh, crap!  What did I just do to myself?  How did I do this?  Can I take it back?)

Me:  Well some babies get pushed out of their mom’s bellies.

(Maybe this will be good enough for him.  Pleeease!)

LM:  Pushed out HOW?  Where?

Me:  Honey, most babies get pushed out of their mommies bellies through their vaginas.

(Deep breath, look back in the rearview mirror, Little Man’s face is contorted in a way I have NEVER seen before.)

LM:  Ugh.  That.  Is.  Awful.   I am SO glad I got cut out of your belly.  I’d be pretty gross if I came out the other way.

Me:  Honey, you were pretty gross the way you came out.

(After some thought) LM:  How did I get in your belly in the first place?

(WTF, kid?) Me:  Honey, that’s much longer, much grosser story.  We’re almost to DJ’s house now.  I don’t have enough time to answer that one the right way.

When will I learn?

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2 thoughts on “There is No Such Thing as a Simple Car Ride

  1. You’ve seen my posts about L asking this question at age 3?! Yeah, we still haven’t gotten to the “how” part. Pretty sure L’s the kind of kid who’d go and tell her whole class. I don’t want to be THAT mom, at least not yet.

    • I remember B’s FB posts about your dinner conversation with L, too. I’m 100% sure that M will also be the kid who goes and explains things to his whole class, as well. He was thrilled to explain things to his sister later that same day.

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