The Vagina Rule

© Marcoscisetti | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

© Marcoscisetti | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

I have a group of friends that I have known for about 8 years.  We all met in a playgroup when our daughters were only a few months old.  Eight years later, we are still hanging out and having just as many laughs.  One of these friends is Jen.  Another of these friends is Ms. Cocktail.  Why Ms. Cocktail?  We moms go on an annual pilgrimage to the Cape each year for a Girls Birthday Weekend.  Everyone else packs a small bag for the trip.  Ms. Cocktail packs a toothbrush, a large cardboard box of various liquor and a pitcher of pre made margaritas.   Last summer during our big birthday bash for the kids, everyone brought a side dish or a dessert.  Ms. Cocktail brought a large jug of Sangrias.  Hence the name.

After one of our weekends, we were all together doing some light male bashing while our kids destroyed the playroom and Ms. Cocktail was telling us of her hubby’s adventures while she was gone. While she was away, her husband took her 3 kids to a neighbor’s house for a neighborhood get together.  Apparently, at some point during the party, her husband forgot he had kids because one of the moms found his young son riding his scooter down the middle of their street in the dark.  Her son had left the party, walked up 5 houses in the dark,  got his scooter and was riding around the neighborhood.    Hmmm.

Ms. Cocktail:  What the heck was he thinking?  Seriously?  Even at my drunkest, I know where my kids are.

Me:  It’s the Vagina Rule.

What’s the Vagina Rule, you ask?  The Vagina Rule is this:  if there is a vagina within a 15 mile radius, a man will assume that the owner of that vagina will be in charge of any children in that 15 mile circle.  Pure and simple.  How many times have you walked into your home and your husband immediately puts up the “off duty” sign – before you even get your coat off?

We women know how powerful our lady parts are, but some of you may not be aware about this phenomenon know as the Vagina Rule, although I am sure you have witnessed it many of times.

My husband has used “The Rule” a few times when my daughter was younger.  Now that we have two rug rats and they are no longer babies, he doesn’t call on it that often -unless there is a football game on or the boy has a toxic diaper, then all bets are off.  🙂

Heck, I’m even guilty of using it.  Every August, when we have our huge blowout birthday party “for the kids”, I tend to forget I have the little charmers since I know there are at least ten other hoo hahs roaming around the yard, keeping an eye on each others kids, including mine.

The Va jay jay Rule is right up there with the Darwin Rule of survival of the fittest.  Without this rule, humans might never have evolved to where we are today.  Can you imagine if early caveman didn’t have this rule?  How many of those little cave kids would have met an untimely death to a Saber Toothed Tiger?  I shudder to think.

So you see girls, as much as it may suck that the guys use “The Rule” to their advantage, our ‘ginas are providing a huge public service and quite possibly keeping the human race going – in more ways then one. 😉

So as the wise Betty White meme never said:  “Why do people say ‘grow some balls?  Balls are weak and sensitive!  If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina!  Those things can take a pounding!”

Ya, Sista!

Ya, Sista!




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