Each time the month of May rolls around, my husband and I have the same conversation we had the year before. It goes something like this:
Him: Crap! It’s May, isn’t it?
Him: Is Mother’s Day this weekend? And your birthday is soon too. I have to get you something. What do you want?
Him: You have to give me some ideas. You don’t like jewelry and I’m not going to try to buy you clothes. Can you give me some kind of idea?
Me: To be left alone.
Him: Real nice.
I can’t blame my husband for being clueless as to what I want. He’s been brainwashed by the advertisers and card companies that tell guys that what their wives really want is a super sappy love card or some romantic, humungeously expensive piece of jewelry or a giant bouquet of flowers that die in three days. The commercials make you think we want to spend a loving day with our kids while they bring us burnt toast in bed and give us macaroni art stuck to paper plate as we skip off as one big happy family into the sunset.
It’s all horse shit.
I love my kids and my husband. I know they love me. I don’t need gifts or cards or acts of kindness to prove they care. What I need is to be left alone – for just day.
I’m with my kids 24/7, most of the time by myself. I am never alone. I can’t shower alone, pee alone, eat alone or sleep alone. There is always someone right there, in my face, wanting me for something. I get no vacaation days, sick days, or comp days. I’m on duty all day, every day. So I find it insane that society thinks the one thing mothers want on Mother’s Day is to spend ALL DAY with their kids. That’s not Mother’s Day. That’s every day. And in my mind, Mother’s Day should be different from every day.
So what do I want this Mother’s Day?
Give me a day where I can open my eyes without two little faces peering back at me, waiting to pounce and bombarde me with questions like “can we go downstairs?”, ” can you get me chocolate milk?”, ” Is it morning time? “, “Im hungry. Can you get me something to eat?”
Give me a day when I can sit on the couch without everyone fighting about who gets to sit next to mommy while mommy gets sat on, kicked, and punched in the head as they wrestle to win the coveted spot.
Give me a day where I can watch show that I want without have to turn the volume up to 35 just so I can hear what is being said over the constant noise that my children make.
Give me a day where I can drink a cup of tea while its still hot and not have to contort my body like a cirque de sol acrobat around the flaying arms and legs of my children just to get the cup to my mouth.
Give me a day where nobody pisses on the floor, pisses on my lap, or pisses me off.
Give me a day where I can wander through a store without having to be badgered to buy a toy, leave my cart to find a bathroom, or rush to fit it in before pick up time.
Give me a day where I can eat a meal that is hot, doesn’t contain processed chicken, or require me to get up every 5 seconds to get something, and that someone else has made.
In short, give me a day off. Give me a day where I am not a mom.
A day where I can worry about no one else but myself, where I don’t have to answer a million questions, dry someone’s tears, calm someone’s tantrum, cook someone’s meals, cleans someone’s mess.
A day to myself to do what I want, when I want, even its doing nothing at all.
Because if you give me one day of not being a mom, I can give you many days of being a better mom.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the awesome moms out there. Hope you all get what you deserve.