Bookends of Crazy

The other day I posted a video of my children in the morning.  If you happened to miss it, you can check it out on Facebook : www.facebook.com/MostlySaneMamas.

BTW – This is a good day in my house.  I had written this post a few days before so it seemed fitting to send it out into the world now.  Maybe it will give a little more context to the video.

The plus side of having a houseful of people who have a lack of focus and an overabundance of energy is there is hardly any boredom.  Sure we have days where things go smoothly and not much happens, but most days are anything but dull.

Often my day starts and ends with crazy.  Not just chaotic crazy, but bat sh&@t, off the wall crazy.  Like two manic bookends holding in the calm that unfortunately, someone else gets the pleasure of witnessing, mainly my kids’ teachers.

 

 

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The roughest times, understandably, are in the morning before meds kick in and in the evening when the meds wear off.  Basically, the bulk of the time I have my children.

Nights are usually filled with more meltdowns because my kids are usually exhausted from holding it together all day.  Mornings are more prone to involve activities with lots of energy and chaos, like skateboarding in the kitchen or a rousing session of gymnastics on the couch.

The other night, I asked the boy to get on his pjs, like I do every night shortly after dinner.

His response?

Throw himself on the floor, screaming “why won’t you ever just let me relax?!”

He proceeded to repeat this cry over and over and over for the next 20 minutes as he got himself ready for bed.

My daughter and I found this quite amusing.  The boy – not so much.

My morning can start at any time, be it 3am, 4am or 7am (although that is rarity and usually means someone was up from midnight to 4).  After 10 years of this, I have become well versed in recognizing how far up the crazy scale each morning will be.  Sometimes, its barely a blip on the radar and we all go smoothly into our day.  Other times, someone pulls the pin from the hand grenade and the explosion is intense.

Today was a fine example of a sh&($t storm in the brewing.  When I got up, my daughter was already on the couch with her head in her laptop.  Who knows how long she has been up.  My son, on the other hand, followed me downstairs at 5:45am and grabbed his iPad.

Electronics are banned in our house during the mornings.  We have plenty of other distractions each morning, there is no need to add something as mind sucking as electronics.  I’ve even banned myself (not very successfully) since I am just as guilty of losing track of time and having to rush to make the bus.

Me: Shut it down. No electronics before school.

YaYa: I was just looking up something quick.

Me: Uh huh.  How long have you been up?

Yaya:  I don’t know.  4 something, 5 something.  I don’t remember.

Me: You need to get ready and you still have homework to finish.

Yaya: SIGH!  Fine!

Me: You too, little man.  Time to get ready.

The boy:  Where are my clothes?  Did you bring them down?

Me: Nope.  Thats your job.  You didn’t do it last night so you have to run up and get them now.

The boy slowly slides down the couch onto the floor and proceeds to cry and kick and scream.

I know, its a shock to have to stop what you are doing an get dressed.  Its not like it happens…oh… EVERY. MORNING.   We even have a flipping chart on how to do it!  But every morning, its a surprise.

The boy rallies and gets dressed fairly quickly.  He decided to dress all in camouflage today “so no one will be able to see me.”  Awesome.  If I knew it was that easy to disappear, I would have completely changed my wardrobe years ago.

Everyone gets fed and the boy is ready to go so I let him have his iPad.  My daughter on the other hand, it still not dressed, homework is still undone and she is now under a blanket, reading a book.  It’s 7:05am.  Medicine alarms rings at 7:30 and Bus alarm is at 7:45.  Not looking good.

Me: Last time, you need to get dressed and finish you homework.  If you are not ready, you will miss the bus and get an incomplete.

Nothing.  Silence.  Not even a glance to know she got it.

Me: Hey!  We on the same page?

Yaya:  I got it!  Geez!

Oh how I love my tween!

Finally, my daughter drags herself off the couch completely wrapped in a blanket and sits at the table to do homework.

Yaya:  I can’t do this.  its too hard.

Me:  How can you tell?  You have a blanket over your head.

Nothing.  I’m just staring at a blue blob sitting motionlessly at my kitchen table

Me:  Would you like me to help you?

Crickets…..

I reach for the paper so I can read the instructions…the blanket speaks,

“I was reading that!”

I push the paper back over and wait.  My daughter proceeds to slowly bang her head against the table.

It’s 7:15am.  I walk away.

She finally emerges halfway from the blanket and with a little cheerful prodding, she is able to complete her homework relatively quickly and with no injury to herself or others.

But she’s still not dressed.

Me:  Ok.  You need to get dressed.  I’m running up stairs to get my clothes on.  Then we will do medicine.

She pulls the blanket over her head, slowly slides off the chair and proceeds to slither her way into the living room.  She is going in the right direction so I dash off to get dressed.  That’s when I hear the boy say “hey, I want a blanket too!”  I cringe.  Go back down and break up what is sure to turn into a disaster or continue on to get dressed and hope to make it back before chaos erupts?  I choose to get dressed.

I can hear lots of laughter and its getting louder and more intense.  Never a good sign.  I am moving as fast as I can.  The phone rings.  I’m sure its my husband.  My daughter yells she’s got the phone.

I hear “Hi Daddy!”   This is followed by more crazy laughter with some banging and thumping.  Then it happens.  There is a loud crash and the boy starts crying.

I make my way back downstairs and turn the corner into the living room.

The phone is in the middle of the floor and I can hear my husband on speakerphone yelling, “Hello? Hello?”.  The TV tray table is knocked over, there is a blue blanket blob on the floor and my son is crying and holding his face while wrapped in a brown fleece blanket.

The boy: “I hit my face on the table!”

Me: What did you think was going to happen?”

YaYa:  I didn’t do anything!  He did it to himself!

I pick up the phone to save my husband.

Me: Hey.

Hubby: What the hell is happening?

Me:  They are doing that blanket thing.

Hubby:  Ah.  That explains the screaming.

Me: Yep.

Hubby:  So the morning’s going great I see.

Me: Fabulous!

It’s 7:25am and I’m exhausted.  My only ray of hope is that big yellow bus coming at 8am to take my children away and leave me in silence.  That is, if my daughter ever gets dressed.