We all have a circle of friends that we rely on. Your support group. The friends you hang out with and laugh till you cry. The friends you vent to or seek out when you’re having a bad day. I call these friends “the A list”. The list is usually short, but although small in quantity, it is rich in quality.
I am sure just as your group of friends is rich in quality, it is probably also rich in diversity. While most friends have similar personalities and things in common that draw them into that friendship, it is our differences that add the spark to the relationship. That is why every circle of friends need at least one ADHDer in their group. Let me tell you why.
1. We are very entertaining
One of the best qualities of an ADHDer is our sense of humor. We love to laugh – at ourselves, at the world, at life in general. We love to make people laugh and love it when people make us laugh. If you have a party, an ADHD friend should be first on the list. We will talk to anyone who will listen. We’ll talk even if no one is listening. We make great ice breakers. Cousin Joe in from town and knows nobody? We’ll make him feel right at home. We are the ones at the party with the bucket on our head and the first in line for the Conga. We love to feel happy and we want everyone around us to feel happy too. We will make it our personal mission that you have a good time in whatever situation you are in with us.
2. We are good in a crisis
A crisis is all about spontaneity, adeline rush, and chaos. Everything we ADHDers thrive on. When the chips are down, we are at our best. It does not have to be a big crisis. Any crisis will do. Car breaks down and you need a ride? You have to bring 450 cupcakes to a fundraiser by tomorrow at 8am? We’ve got your back. We aren’t wishing for anything bad to happen, but when it does, your ADHD friend will be the first one there to help. We think outside the box and come up with a plan most would never consider. You can rest easy when we are on the job. It will all fall into place.
3. We love a good project
Routines are boring. Most daily living activities are boring so if you have a project you need help on, we ADHD friends are where to look. We welcome anything that will distract us from doing the boring things in life – cleaning, food shopping, laundry…we will take any excuse to avoid the mundane. Need your living room painted the day before Thanksgiving? We’ll help. Moving furniture or digging a ditch for a new swimming pool? Totally into that! Projects are thrilling and exciting. Our super hyper focus abilities means we will not stop until the project is complete. Projects let us work with our hands and be around people we love. What more can you ask for?
4. We rarely sleep
Up at 3am and need someone to talk to? Want company on Black Friday or standing in line all night for concert tickets? We are the people to call. We hardly ever sleep and when we do, it’s for small periods of time so chances are we are up and looking for something to do. We are great listeners and we hardly ever gossip since we usually forget the conversation once you are out of sight. We will keep you company at night when your kid is up all night with the croup. We are the ones to call at 5am when your sitter bailed and you need someone to get your kids to school so you won’t be late for work. Give us a chaotic situation and we will be happier then a swine in sh@$t”. (That’s a Nana quote)
5. We are game for anything
Going on an adventure? Please take us along! We love adventures. No idea is too crazy for us ADHDers. We love all things novel and shiny and bright so excursions are a world of excitement and wonder for us. Whether you are taking a random road trip to NYC to see a play or stalking your favorite celebrity outside his hotel dressing room, you can bet we will be right there by your side. Be careful though. We do have a tendency to go too far so make sure you can rein us in or at least have bail money for us.
After reading this, I am sure you are just itching to go out and find yourself an ADHD friend. In all fairness, I must point out the fine print that comes along with an ADHD friend. We’re not known for having a very good filter and we have some impulse issues so we often say or do things that can hurt another person. When we go to far with a joke or we stick our foot in our mouths, please don’t think we meant to hurt you. We didn’t. Our brains are moving so fast that things come flying out before our brains can figure out what we said was wrong. Believe me, we do figure it out. When we do, we will be crushed at causing you pain. We are very sorry so please forgive our momentary lap in judgement.
Our compassion, loyalty, and generosity run incredible deep. We are prone to gigantic highs and crushing lows. We can run through more emotions in 20 seconds then most people feel in a week. We feel all emotions so deeply which is why (I believe) we can have such deep empathy for all people. So don’t take our mood swings personally. Most of the time our moods have nothing to do with you. The good thing is our moods are like New England weather, they change every 15 minutes. If you wait a moment, we will probably come back around.
We are obnoxious, loud and exhausting, but we are also fiercely loyal, tremendously generous with our time and our love, and we can always find the sun through the clouds.
So you are probably wondering how you find an ADHD friend. It is really not that hard. Just look for the adult who is rolling down the hill with the kids or throwing herself down the inflatable slide at the Fun Zone. There’s a pretty good chance that’s one of us. If you jump on the slide and ask to race us, you will be taken into our fold with a booming hello. Then just hold on and enjoy the ride!